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2014.12.16 07:53 vernakelley Casual Girls for Flirt and Sex at Dating Site

Flirting with a Casual girl and as going as approach for Sex without coming across as creepy can be a tough art to master. You need to say and do the right things but you can’t take it too far. The truth is there are a a couple of simple techniques you can implement which will put you light years ahead of almost all the other guys on the planet.
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2018.08.14 05:03 a_Make-A-Wish_kid Braincelhalla

Free from the tyranny of Inceltears! Incels and guests celebrating incel culture are welcome.
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2020.12.05 08:51 vivemelior Anxious but independent female just not cut out for dating and relationships?

TLDR; as an independent mid 20Fwho is fine with being single but would like to have a partner, dating causes me more anxiety than i think is worth my time and emotional energy. fully aware this is a post seeking validation, but i appreciate any thoughts about this... advice or even just to say you relate or that i’m a moron. idk i just had to write this out.
So I’m very introverted and have this far lived a pretty tame life. Haven’t had sex, never been shitfaced drunk, no drugs, no crazy life stories. I have extreme social anxiety and deal with general anxiety and depression, but I’ve been for the most part fine (outside of the constant existential dread) with my life — I have few but very close friends, I like my job, I have a lot of creative hobbies that I enjoy, and I love the freedom of being single. And I’m not talking single while dating, I’m talking single not dating at all.
I only recently started to feel like I want to find someone to be with, maybe not for the end game but just to get dating experience and find someone to spend time with, go on trips with, and feel intimate with. Its definitely not a NEED, because I’m pretty independent and am fine as long as I have my friends and family, so having a SO is more like a nice to have.
Now that I’ve started dating a bit, I realized I just don’t think I’m cut out for dating and especially not cut out for the dating culture we live in. First, I have a hard time finding people I genuinely like and want to spend time with. Not just guys but people in general. Second, I do not like fretting over if people like me or not, which is kind of a huge part of dating. That sort of anxiety I feel is not worth my emotional exertion or time. Outside of dating I don’t care much if people like me, but with dating I want the person I’m seeing to actually like and care about me because I’m not in this for emotionless hookups. I’m also not able to stoically date, which I feel today’s dating culture requires:
OLD, the dating multiple people, the measures of text responses, the hookup culture, the fear of being too needy or too cold, all of this requires a certain amount of detachment and disregard for other people’s feelings. I feel like I lose part of my humanity when I date, like I’m more of a robot trying to suppress and release feelings at carefully calculatedly times, which just manifests as extreme anxiety.
The hardest part for me is how people date multiple people at once. I get anxious dating one person I can’t imagine being involved with multiple people. I get that others are allowed to but I hate knowing someone is seeing someone else even if we aren’t officially together because if they’re seeing someone else obviously I’m not interesting enough to them so why don’t they just end it?
I also have some anxiety about my lack of sexual experience, but I feel a lot if it is just societal pressure that you should have had done these various sexual things by X age. Of course I want to know what it’s like but a) I can’t just hookup with people if I feel like they don’t care about me /I don’t care about them and b) it’s so hard for me to form a connection with someone and trust them to ever get to actually doing it.
When I’m dating, I can’t contain the anxiety, the constant thoughts of does he like me, is he losing interest, am I doing enough or not enough, is he waiting for sex, what does he want from me etc etc etc. I can’t focus on work, my hobbies, or sleep. I’ve wasted more time lurking on this sub when I could be doing thing I actually enjoy.
The hard part is I don’t need this. I’m perfectly fine when I’m alone. Do I like cuddling and making out? Of course, but if the cost is my peace of mind, humanity, my sense of control over my emotions, I don’t know if it’s worth it to me.
End rant. Any thought appreciated.
submitted by vivemelior to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 07:48 Sadsadthrowawayuk I am breaking my long term partners heart by not being sexually intimate

So this post is about me being the cause of the DB...Not only an I making him really depressed but I am also really upset every time the issue of our lack of sexual intimacy arises.
A brief background... we’ve been together now for ten years or so and we met online on a dating site. Things moved surprisingly quickly in the beginning with him moving in with me within the first year. I have had a previous long term relationship but he has not.
I honestly swear it feels like me and him are soul mates in every way personality wise and relationship wise. We have the same stupid goofy sense of humour, we’re both a little geeky and we have learned so much from each other’s different interests and broadened our horizons as a result. He is the most kind and caring guy who would never hurt anyone.
The only minor sticking point in our relationship other than me not being sexually intimate is the fact I am the only one working and paying all the bills, groceries and so on. We both had/have social anxiety but me to a lesser extent where I’ve managed to overcome it on the whole and do well in my career. He however hasn’t worked for the entirety of the relationship and seems somewhat naive about money and finances and unrealistic sometimes for someone in their 30s. He seems very comfortable in his routine of gaming most nights on the pc and spending the rest of time with me when I’m not working. That said I understand the battles of anxiety and so I don’t push too hard and often defend him to his parents and so on because I love him.
I’m fucking all that up however because I no longer feel sexually attracted to him. I do not find him ugly at all, he is a very handsome attractive guy, but I don’t get sexual excitement around him. Obviously when he’s trying hard to get my attention in that way and initiate sexual intercourse and I awkwardly deny or cockblock him I know it has a negative effect on his self esteem And makes him feels undesirable.
Tonight he had a shower and was hanging around me as I was on the pc when I said I was getting ready to go to sleep to get up for work tomorrow he was waiting on the bed for me when I came out of the bathroom so I knew he was trying hard to initiate something... but mentally I didn’t want it.
Add to this that I feel I have a porn addiction and masturbate regularly it makes me feel even worse. In a way mentally I relate sexual excitement to thrilling situations like one night stands, like being really sexual with someone without strings or without seeing that person again (I’ve never actually cheated before this is just a sexual thought) but when it comes to being horny with someone I care for or love I seem to have a disconnect.
I don’t know what to do... we’ve spoken openly at length about this many times before and I know we genuinely love and adore each other but I’m ruining that and however much I try and force it it feels uncomfortable. I cannot bring myself to actually say I don’t feel sexually excited by him as I know it would hurt him, but that said my actions probably show that anyway so maybe not saying it is worse. I don’t know.
I truly love and care for him and don’t want to lose him but I don’t know how to overcome this. We are good for each other in every other way.
I am lucky he hasn’t left me already but I also worry he feels trapped. He has no income or real financial history, he has no friends outside of mine aside from people he speaks to online, he moved away from his family, he is fully dependent on me and it breaks my heart to know he could feel trapped in this life when I know I upset him over our sex life...
He goes through phases of seeming ok but every so often he gets really low and I feel so responsible. We would be so so happy if I could stop being a fuck up and have sex with the person I love...
What should I do? I just want him to be happy and I’m not sure that means being with me anymore. Can we have a healthy relationship without sexual intimacy? Would it better to leave all the good parts of our relationship behind and both move on however much that seems unthinkable?
Help!
submitted by Sadsadthrowawayuk to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 07:43 nwolfe94 27M about to be divorced just needing some advice

Im apologize in advance this is kinda jumbled its the first time iv put my thought down. I'm fine with being told I was a horrible husband and that I need to leave her. I just need advice on what to do idk if im going to be able to make it until the 13th.
Idk where to start but I am 27M been together with my 23F wife for 5 years we have been married almost 2 years Dec 16th will be 2 years. No kids. She is not happy and does not want to leave but feels like she needs to. I want the marriage to continue but I don't want to trap her when she is unhappy. Im going to be up front i was the best husband I never hurt her or abused her in anyway but I wasnt emotionally there for her when she needed me. I never understood her love language like I do now. She needed emotional support not me taking care of her. Iv always shown my love though what I do for her. Now everything is falling apart. We have had our issues in the past she told me that she doesn't feel connected to me that she couldn't tell I loved her which now makes since cause I never expressed it like he wanted. I always told her I didn't understand that I did love her and that if she could just tell me what she needs but she never could figure out how to say it. This happened a few more times she would break down and I wouldn't understand what I was doing wrong. She has never been a very social person so she has always had trouble making decent friends people she could relate to. So about a month ago she reached out to an old friend of mine and hers that she actually liked hanging out with. I told her I didn't care that they talked because she needed more friends. So they started talking. I need to tell you that she does have alot of depression and mental issues which I always did what I could to be there for her and help her with. So they started talking for about two weeks and I start noticing she is always smiling at her phone now so I start asking probing question like what are they talking about and such and she said if I was uncomfortable with it she would stop but I was trying to be supportive and said no that you need other people then me to talk to its fine I trust you. But she tell me that he was telling her how BDSM can help with her depression and needs to look into it. That kinda upset me but I let it go. Then after Thanksgiving she finally tells me that she needs to go that she has been unhappy for the last 5 years and that she needed time to think and find what makes her happy. Me freaking out and emotional started pressing her for more information and begging her to work with me to fix this I ended up pressing her for an answer I needed to know if she was really wanting a divorce or not and I had to know. This goes on for three ish days. And i break down and she tells me she wants to get away for a while and wants to go to this guys house in Arizona. She tells me that she has developed feelings for him and wants to go for a few days to calm.down and figure out what makes her happy. I bought her a flight for the 10-13. Now this was only the 2nd so she had alot of time before her flight and I had alot of questions I needed answered still cause It was driving me crazy I needed the yes or no to a divorce I needed an answer. I tried to control myself and wait but I couldn't she finally gave me a half hearted answer and said I want a divorce I guess so she went into work and told her boss that she needed to quit they didn't let her quit and offered her two weeks off to figure stuff out her boss and his wife offered her a place to stay and think she denied the offer. When she got home we started talking and crying and I said ill change the flight and you can leave tomorrow ill give you the time you need. So she agreed and I took her to the airport and dropped her off. That was the 3rd she promised me this wasnt for sex and that she wouldn't do anything. Iv been trying to cut back on talking to her to give her her space but it tearing me down and ripping me apart. Everyone says I'm crazy for letting her go to another guys house that you dont do that if you need a break you go to family or a hotel or something. I love her with all my heart and soul I just wanted to give her space and hold onto the chance that she wants our marriage to work too. I also need to say that in the beginning of our relationship I was still hung up on a ex girlfriend I was still talking to her and got caught 3 times. I finally stopped and focused on what was in front of me that loves me and was there for me and not someone else. We dated for 3 years and then I asked her to marry me I asked her that if what I did in the beginning will affect her that if she truly forgave me and she said she had but is now bringing it back up now I dont blame her I accepted that I messed up in a huge way and emotionally cheated on her but she is emotionally cheating on me now too.
A little needed background on the guy she went to see. He has done this before he got involved in another friends marriage they were the ones that taught him BDSM and how it can help cope with depression. My friend said he is very manipulative and had his wife ready to leave him but lucky everyone moved apart. They worked out there marriage and stayed together. His wife said he prayed on her own past mental issues and had her convinced her husband wasn't right for her and to go with him.
I feel like I caused all of this i feel like I broke such a loving and beautiful woman because I wasnt emotionally there and I betrayed her trust in the beginning. I know its just a matter of time before this ends but idk how to end it. I feel like I pushed her to this point.
I need to know if what I did was crazy, if I should just let her go cause she hasn't been happy before im not going to be able to make her happy in the future, am I just her safety net so she can go test the waters with this guy. I need advice
submitted by nwolfe94 to marriageadvice [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 07:32 Sadsadthrowawayuk I (M32) am breaking my long term partners (M34) heart by not being sexually intimate

ThrowRA
Not only an I making him really depressed but I am also really upset every time the issue of our lack of sexual intimacy arises.
A brief background... we’ve been together now for ten years or so and we met online on a dating site. Things moved surprisingly quickly in the beginning with him moving in with me within the first year. I have had a previous long term relationship but he has not.
I honestly swear it feels like me and him are soul mates in every way personality wise and relationship wise. We have the same stupid goofy sense of humour, we’re both a little geeky and we have learned so much from each other’s different interests and broadened our horizons as a result. He is the most kind and caring guy who would never hurt anyone.
The only minor sticking point in our relationship other than me not being sexually intimate is the fact I am the only one working and paying all the bills, groceries and so on. We both had/have social anxiety but me to a lesser extent where I’ve managed to overcome it on the whole and do well in my career. He however hasn’t worked for the entirety of the relationship and seems somewhat naive about money and finances and unrealistic sometimes for someone in their 30s. He seems very comfortable in his routine of gaming most nights on the pc and spending the rest of time with me when I’m not working. That said I understand the battles of anxiety and so I don’t push too hard and often defend him to his parents and so on because I love him.
I’m fucking all that up however because I no longer feel sexually attracted to him. I do not find him ugly at all, he is a very handsome attractive guy, but I don’t get sexual excitement around him. Obviously when he’s trying hard to get my attention in that way and initiate sexual intercourse and I awkwardly deny or cockblock him I know it has a negative effect on his self esteem And makes him feels undesirable.
Tonight he had a shower and was hanging around me as I was on the pc when I said I was getting ready to go to sleep to get up for work tomorrow he was waiting on the bed for me when I came out of the bathroom so I knew he was trying hard to initiate something... but mentally I didn’t want it.
Add to this that I feel I have a porn addiction and masturbate regularly it makes me feel even worse. In a way mentally I relate sexual excitement to thrilling situations like one night stands, like being really sexual with someone without strings or without seeing that person again (I’ve never actually cheated before this is just a sexual thought) but when it comes to being horny with someone I care for or love I seem to have a disconnect.
I don’t know what to do... we’ve spoken openly at length about this many times before and I know we genuinely love and adore each other but I’m ruining that and however much I try and force it it feels uncomfortable. I cannot bring myself to actually say I don’t feel sexually excited by him as I know it would hurt him, but that said my actions probably show that anyway so maybe not saying it is worse. I don’t know.
I truly love and care for him and don’t want to lose him but I don’t know how to overcome this. We are good for each other in every other way.
I am lucky he hasn’t left me already but I also worry he feels trapped. He has no income or real financial history, he has no friends outside of mine aside from people he speaks to online, he moved away from his family, he is fully dependent on me and it breaks my heart to know he could feel trapped in this life when I know I upset him over our sex life...
He goes through phases of seeming ok but every so often he gets really low and I feel so responsible. We would be so so happy if I could stop being a fuck up and have sex with the person I love...
What should I do? I just want him to be happy and I’m not sure that means being with me anymore. Can we have a healthy relationship without sexual intimacy? Would it better to leave all the good parts of our relationship behind and both move on however much that seems unthinkable?
Help!
submitted by Sadsadthrowawayuk to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 06:38 nwolfe94 27M on verge of divorce with 23F need help

Im apologize in advance this is kinda jumbled its the first time iv put my thought down. I'm fine with being told I was a horrible husband and that I need to leave her. I just need advice on what to do idk if im going to be able to make it until the 13th.
Idk where to start but I am 27M been together with my 23F wife for 5 years we have been married almost 2 years Dec 16th will be 2 years. No kids. She is not happy and does not want to leave but feels like she needs to. I want the marriage to continue but I don't want to trap her when she is unhappy. Im going to be up front i was the best husband I never hurt her or abused her in anyway but I wasnt emotionally there for her when she needed me. I never understood her love language like I do now. She needed emotional support not me taking care of her. Iv always shown my love though what I do for her. Now everything is falling apart. We have had our issues in the past she told me that she doesn't feel connected to me that she couldn't tell I loved her which now makes since cause I never expressed it like he wanted. I always told her I didn't understand that I did love her and that if she could just tell me what she needs but she never could figure out how to say it. This happened a few more times she would break down and I wouldn't understand what I was doing wrong. She has never been a very social person so she has always had trouble making decent friends people she could relate to. So about a month ago she reached out to an old friend of mine and hers that she actually liked hanging out with. I told her I didn't care that they talked because she needed more friends. So they started talking. I need to tell you that she does have alot of depression and mental issues which I always did what I could to be there for her and help her with. So they started talking for about two weeks and I start noticing she is always smiling at her phone now so I start asking probing question like what are they talking about and such and she said if I was uncomfortable with it she would stop but I was trying to be supportive and said no that you need other people then me to talk to its fine I trust you. But she tell me that he was telling her how BDSM can help with her depression and needs to look into it. That kinda upset me but I let it go. Then after Thanksgiving she finally tells me that she needs to go that she has been unhappy for the last 5 years and that she needed time to think and find what makes her happy. Me freaking out and emotional started pressing her for more information and begging her to work with me to fix this I ended up pressing her for an answer I needed to know if she was really wanting a divorce or not and I had to know. This goes on for three ish days. And i break down and she tells me she wants to get away for a while and wants to go to this guys house in Arizona. She tells me that she has developed feelings for him and wants to go for a few days to calm.down and figure out what makes her happy. I bought her a flight for the 10-13. Now this was only the 2nd so she had alot of time before her flight and I had alot of questions I needed answered still cause It was driving me crazy I needed the yes or no to a divorce I needed an answer. I tried to control myself and wait but I couldn't she finally gave me a half hearted answer and said I want a divorce I guess so she went into work and told her boss that she needed to quit they didn't let her quit and offered her two weeks off to figure stuff out her boss and his wife offered her a place to stay and think she denied the offer. When she got home we started talking and crying and I said ill change the flight and you can leave tomorrow ill give you the time you need. So she agreed and I took her to the airport and dropped her off. That was the 3rd she promised me this wasnt for sex and that she wouldn't do anything. Iv been trying to cut back on talking to her to give her her space but it tearing me down and ripping me apart. Everyone says I'm crazy for letting her go to another guys house that you dont do that if you need a break you go to family or a hotel or something. I love her with all my heart and soul I just wanted to give her space and hold onto the chance that she wants our marriage to work too. I also need to say that in the beginning of our relationship I was still hung up on a ex girlfriend I was still talking to her and got caught 3 times. I finally stopped and focused on what was in front of me that loves me and was there for me and not someone else. We dated for 3 years and then I asked her to marry me I asked her that if what I did in the beginning will affect her that if she truly forgave me and she said she had but is now bringing it back up now I dont blame her I accepted that I messed up in a huge way and emotionally cheated on her but she is emotionally cheating on me now too.
A little needed background on the guy she went to see. He has done this before he got involved in another friends marriage they were the ones that taught him BDSM and how it can help cope with depression. My friend said he is very manipulative and had his wife ready to leave him but lucky everyone moved apart. They worked out there marriage and stayed together. His wife said he prayed on her own past mental issues and had her convinced her husband wasn't right for her and to go with him.
I need to know if what I did was crazy, if I should just let her go cause she hasn't been happy before im not going to be able to make her happy in the future, am I just her safety net so she can go test the waters with this guy. I need advice
submitted by nwolfe94 to Divorce [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 06:31 onionspersion I am a 34 female who had her first consensual sexual encounter at 5. It was not abusive nor following/prompted by abuse. AMA

I don't know how to prove this. Obviously using a throwaway. And I'm actually doing an AMA because the very few souls i've told about this are so highly skeptical that the experiences could have happened with no abuse to prompt it, i need to see if the supposedly impossible is in fact possible. because the fact is: I was never abused. And i'm fairly sure the girl I engaged with wasn't abused either. I think we were both curious, and having caught peeks of R rated movies or pornographic images, our curiosity turned eager and active.
When i was 5, my best friend and i would fool around sexually. But it was not sexual: obviously we weren't playing with each other to achieve sexual pleasure/to orgasm (i orgasmed for the first time at 14 with a male)-- we were exploring anatomically. We would play "house" and get naked and pretend we were the man and the woman. We would mostly just lay around and pretend we were in the bedroom, not knowing at all what "to do" in the bedroom. Sometimes we would essentially give each other oral (we licked each others vaginas and stomachs). We never inserted anything in each other, fingers or otherwise. I don't recall ever kissing on the mouth. We did this often, for about a year.
We stopped once we grew old enough to know beyond that not only was it taboo (we obviously were very covert and did this in the woods and our basements or attics where we had warning others were approaching by way of stairs or distance) but that it might be shameful. We realized our other girl friends probably didn't do this and that little girls were likely supposed to be involved with more enriching activities. Maybe we were 7 when we stopped? we stopped being friends too when we realized we had nothing else in common. (She was a bitch, honestly: she was bossy, conceited, and arrogant. I started hanging out with really nice girls and had a grossly cozy vanilla pubescence in their company.)
She and I never ever talked about it. We didn't speak in middle school at all, but we were friendly the last couple years of high school. She dated a really attractive popular boy, as did I. Our school was gigantic though, so we didn't see each other unless we made a point to, which we did not. We are both married to men. She has children, I do not.
I am straight in that I am intensely sexually attracted to men, and this so far has been exclusive. I think women are powerfully beautiful in inimitable ways, but i've never met a woman i wanted to be with sexually in any capacity. When I fooled around with my friend when we were children, we pretended to be in a heteronormative scenario, neither of us had breasts, we mimicked what i think we each saw in spicy media we recovered pieces of. Why? I have ideas but I also have no idea.
Before I chose to post this, I saw a kind of similar AMA that a boy posted about a decade ago: but he was a boy doing what i did at relatively the same age with a girl, and he seemed to have gone on to be possibly abused and to abuse through his adolescence (a lot was deleted so i couldn't garner all details and intuited from comments mostly). This is just very vastly different from my experience so I'm reflecting on my specific odd hours in my childhood for you to ask about as such. My experience is so different I didn't even develop promiscuity: while i've been sexual active (not a virgin) for 20 years, i've slept with less than 10 people. I am sexually eager in that i like sex, frequently and with regularity, but it isn't to a destructive degree in that i require (the) safety (of emotion) to bound it.
I am certain i wasn't sexually abused. I've at length investigated possible unwitting suspects and the likelihood of repressed memories. I was well cared for and well loved and there is no adult in my child's mind's life i shutter at the thought of. I have strong memories and no childhood trauma considerable.
I think the same of my friend. I can't say i know for sure. But she didn't "groom" me or prompt me or lure me. It was as far as i can remember mutual-- neither of us acting as if the product of a previous encounter. I think we were just curious weirdo lil girls. And I have a hard time believing we were the only ones. But for the last 30 years I've been led to believe we were. AMA.
TL;DR: i had a same-sex "sexual relationship" with my best friend for over a year starting at 5 years old. I wasn't abused prior to it nor did I go on to abuse after it. I like dick.
submitted by onionspersion to AMA [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 06:22 labor-attorney Korean labor law and preparation for Labor Inspectors’ Audit

Korean labor law and preparation for Labor Inspectors’ Audit
https://preview.redd.it/0sh7s11yza361.jpg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=796f16ebebcecea565cf625657affdf10e83147b
Checklist of Standard Working Conditions
To Prepare for Labor Inspectors’ Audit
Employers must comply with the following items and procedures to ensure they are in harmony with the Labor Standards Act. “Self-auditing guide” – the Ministry of Employment and Labor (2016): The contents described herein are checked frequently by labor inspectors and given for the companies to act accordingly. Employers are advised to comply with the guidelines. I hope the companies can prepare for their necessary documents in accordance with standard guidelines of the Labor Standards Act.
Ⅰ. Labor Standards Act
  1. An employer shall make a labor contract with all employees hired directly by the company
※ An employer shall make a labor contract with all employees hired directly by the company, regardless of type of occupation, working period, etc.
※ Any labor contract that establishes conditions of labor that do not meet the standards provided by law shall be invalid to that extent. The law shall govern those conditions invalidated in accordance with the above.
※ In order to prevent disputes between the employer and the employed, a written labor contract is required so both parties can be sure of the details of employment.
  1. An employer shall clearly state the terms of employment at the time the labor contract is made. (Article 17 of the LSA, Article 8 of the Enforcement Decree)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed five million won
※ Statement of Terms of Employment
i) An employer shall clearly state remuneration, contractual working hours, holidays, annual paid leave, and other terms of employment. For matters as to each constituent item of remuneration, the methods of calculation and payment, holidays, and annual paid leave shall be specified in writing.
ii) Terms of Employment to be specified:
(1) Remuneration (2) Contractual working hours (3) Holidays (4) Annual paid leave (5) Place of employment and work to be performed
  1. A Registry of the workers shall be made and preserved.(Article 41, 42 of the LSA) ※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed five million WON
※ Employers shall maintain a registry of workers, and preserve this registry, along with other important documents regarding the labor contract, for three years.
a) Matters to Be Entered in the Registry of Workers
Name; Sex; Date of birth; Address; Personal history; Type of work to be performed; Date of employment or renewal of employment, a contractual period if any period has been determined, and other matters related to employment; Date of dismissal, retirement or death, and the reasons thereof; and Other necessary matters
b) Important Documents Regarding the Labor Contract
Labor contracts; Wage ledgers; Documents pertaining to the basis for the determination of, payment method used, and calculation of wages; Documents pertaining to employment, dismissal or retirement; Documents pertaining to promotion or demotion; Documents pertaining to leaves of absence; Documents pertaining to approval or authorization; Documents of written agreements; and Documents pertaining to certification of minors.
  1. Contractual working hours for employees shall not exceed forty hours per week and eight hours per day, excluding recess hours.
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to two years, or by a fine not to exceed ten million WON
  1. An employer shall pay an additional fifty percent or more of the ordinary wages for extended work, night work, or holiday work. (Article 56 of the LSA)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to three years, or by a fine not to exceed twenty million WON
※ Night work means the work provided from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m., and holiday work means the work performed during times that are exempt from the "duty to provide labor" as stipulated by law, collective agreement, Rules of Employment (ROE) or labor contract.
  1. If a worker quits or retires, an employer shall pay the forthcoming wages, compensation, and other money or valuables within 14 days after the cause for such payment has occurred; however, this period, under special circumstances, may be extended by mutual agreement between the parties concerned. (Article 36 of LSA)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to three years, or by a fine not to exceed twenty million WON
  1. An employer shall allow, on average, one or more paid days off per week to workers who have fulfilled their contractual working days per week. (Article 55 of the LSA)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to two years, or by a fine not to exceed ten million WON
※ When employees work on paid holidays, the employer shall pay additional wages (fifty percent or more of the ordinary wages).
  1. An employer shall grant 15 days' paid leave to workers who have worked more than 80 percent of their contractual working days over one year. After the employee's first year of service, the employer shall grant annual paid leave of one additional day for each two years of consecutive service. (Article 60, Article 62 of the LSA)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to two years, or by a fine not to exceed ten million WON
※ An employer shall grant one day’s paid leave per month to a worker whose consecutive service period is shorter than one year.
※ The total number of leave days, including the additional leave, shall not exceed 25.
  1. Employers shall grant pregnant female workers 90 days of maternity leave, to be used before and after childbirth. In such cases, 45 days or more shall be allocated after childbirth. The first 60 days' leave shall be paid leave. (Article 74, Article 75 of the LSA)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to two years, or by a fine not to exceed ten million WON
※ The length of protective leave granted shall be determined according to the length of pregnancy:
  1. Where the pregnancy period of the worker who has a miscarriage or stillbirth (hereinafter referred to as “pregnancy period”) is less than 11 weeks:up to 5 days from the date of miscarriage or stillbirth;
    1. Where the pregnancy period is 12 weeks or more but less than 15 weeks:up to 10 days from the date of miscarriage or stillbirth;
    2. Where the pregnancy period is 16 weeks or more but less than 21 weeks:up to 30 days from the date of miscarriage or stillbirth
    3. Where the pregnancy period is 22 weeks or more but less than 27 weeks:up to 60 days from the date of miscarriage or stillbirth;and
    4. Where the pregnancy period is 28 weeks or more:up to 90 days from the date of miscarriage or stillbirth.
  2. No employer shall dismiss a worker without justifiable reason. If an employer intends to dismiss a worker, the employer shall notify the worker in writing of the reasons for dismissal and the date of such dismissal.
  3. An employer shall give advance notice of at least thirty days before dismissing a worker. If notice is not given thirty days before dismissal, ordinary wages of more than thirty days shall be paid to the worker. (Article 26 of the LSA)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to two years, or by a fine not to exceed ten million WON
※ Exceptions for Advance Notice of Dismissal
(1) A worker who has been employed on a daily basis for less than three consecutive months;
(2) A worker who has been employed for a fixed period not exceeding two months;
(4) A seasonal worker who has been employed for a fixed period not exceeding six months; or
(5) A worker still in the employment probation period.
  1. An employer ordinarily employing ten workers or more shall prepare the Rules of Employment (ROE) and file them with the Minister of Labor. (Article 93 of the LSA) ※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed five million WON
※ Contents of Rules of Employment (ROE)
Hours of operation, Breaks, Holidays, Leaves and Shifts, Determination of wages, Calculation of wages, Means of payment, Closing of payment, Pay days, Wage increases, Calculation of family allowances, Means of pension payment, Pensions prescribed in Article 8 of the Employee Retirement Benefit Security Act, Bonuses, Minimum wages, Meal allowance, Allocation of expenses for operational tools or, Educational facilities for workers, Protection of pregnant female workers, Work-home balance assistance, such as maternity leave, child-care leave, etc., Safety and health, Improvement of work environment according to employee sex, age, and physical characteristics, Support pertaining to occupational or non-occupational accidents, Awards and Disciplinary action, etc.
  1. An employer shall keep workers informed of the main points of the Rules of Employment (ROE), by posting them at all times or keeping them in places where workers have free access. (Article 14 of the LSA)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed five million WON
Ⅱ. Employment Retirement Benefit Security Act
  1. When an employee retires or resigns, the employer shall, within 14 days, pay a sum equal to 30 days or more of average wages for each year of consecutive service. (Article 4, Article 8, Article 9 of the ERBSA)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed five million WON
Ⅲ. Employment Retirement Benefit Security Act
  1. Employers shall pay their workers wages not less than the minimum wage. (Article 6 of the Minimum Wage Act)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to three years, or by a fine not to exceed twenty million WON
※ Minimum Wage (as of 2021) : 8,720 won per hour / 69,760 won per day(8 hours) / 1,822,480 won per month
  1. An employer shall inform workers of the minimum wage by displaying it in areas easily visible to workers, or by other appropriate means. (Article 11 of the Minimum Wage Act)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed one million WON
Ⅵ. Equal Employment and Work-home balance assistance act
  1. Employers shall conduct employee education one or more times per year to prevent sexual harassment at the work place. (Article12, Article 13)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed three million WON
※The sexual harassment prevention education under paragraph (a) may be conducted through employee training sessions, meetings, etc. depending on the size and circumstances of the business.
※ Providing sexual harassment prevention education simply by posting information, or other indirect dissemination of educational material, shall not be recognized as sexual harassment prevention education.
  1. Employers shall allow an employee with a child aged 8 and under(or in the secondary year of elementary school or lower)to take childcare leave to care for that child, upon application by that employee. (Article 19)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed five million WON
  1. Employers shall pay equal wages for the work of equal value in the same business. (Article 8)
※ Punishable by imprisonment of up to three years, or by a fine not to exceed twenty million WON
※ Criteria for work of equal value shall be the skills, effort, responsibility and working conditions, etc., required to perform the work. In setting the criteria, the employer shall listen to opinions of the employee representative in the Labor-Management Council.
※ When an employer discriminates in wages based upon objective criteria such as education, job experience, seniority, position, etc., it shall not be regarded as discrimination.
  1. Male employees who apply for leave because their wives gave birth shall be given 3 days of paternity leave. (Article 18-2)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed five million WON
Ⅴ. Act on the Promotion of Worker Participation and Cooperation
  1. An employer shall establish bylaws for the Labor-Management Council and shall submit them to the Labor Office. (Article 4, Article 18 of the Act)
※ Penalty for not establishing a Labor-Management Council: fine of not less than 10 million WON
※ Penalty for not submitting the bylaws: fine of up to 2 million WON
※ All businesses that ordinarily hire more than 30 persons shall establish a Labor- Management Council, establish its bylaws, and submit them to the Minister of Labor within 15 days from the date the Council is established.
※ A Labor-Management Council shall be established at each business or workplace and will be vested with the right to decide working conditions.
  1. The Labor-Management Council shall hold meetings at least once every three months. ※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed two million WON
  2. The Grievance-Handling Team shall consist of a maximum of three people, representing labor and management. (Article 26, Article 27 of the Act)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed two million WON
Ⅵ. Protection for non-regular employees (Short-term, part-time, or dispatch employees)
  1. Sending Employers and Using Employers shall implement any final judgment order for correction if they receive one from the Labor Relations Commission or the court. (Article 8 to Article 14 of the Short-term Employee Act and the Article 21 of the Dispatch Employee Act)
※ Punishable by a fine not to exceed one hundred five million WON
  1. An employer shall not discriminate against non-regular employees (fixed-term employees, part-time employees, and dispatch employees) with regard to wages or other working conditions on the grounds of their employment status compared with other workers under a labor contract without a fixed term who are engaged in the same or similar jobs in the business or workplace concerned.
※ Applicable to both the Sending Employer and the Using Employer
  1. An employer may hire fixed-term employees for a period not exceeding two years. If an employer hires fixed-term employees for more than two years, they shall be considered regular employees who have no fixed term. (Article 4 of the Short-term Employee Act)
  2. Using Employer shall not receive labor service from a dispatch employee from an unauthorized dispatch company nor shall use a dispatch employee in a position where dispatch employees are not allowed. (Article 5 of the Dispatch Employee Act)
※ For Using Employer: Punishable by imprisonment of up to three years, or by a fine not to exceed twenty million WON
  1. The length of dispatch shall not exceed one year. If there is agreement between the Sending Employer, the Using Employer, and the dispatch employee, the length of dispatch may be extended beyond one year. In any case, the total length of dispatch extension shall not exceed one year, and the total length of dispatch, including extensions, shall not exceed two years. If the Using Employer continues to use the dispatch employee beyond two years, he/she shall directly hire the dispatch employee as a regular employee without a fixed term of employment.
※ Violation by the Using Employer: imprisonment of up to three years, or a fine not exceeding twenty million WON
※ Failure to directly hire a dispatch employee beyond two years: Punishable by a fine not exceeding thirty million WON
※ With regard to older dispatch employees under subparagraph 1 of Article 2 of the Aged Employment Promotion Act, notwithstanding the latter part of the provision of paragraph 2, the length of dispatch may be extended for more than two years.
※ Times when dispatch employees are permitted under Article 5 (2) (exceptional reasons)
☞ The period of time required to resolve clear and objective causes of a shortage of manpower, such as childbirth, illness and injury; and
☞ For a maximum of three months when there is a need to secure manpower on a temporary and intermittent basis. If the cause is not resolved and there is agreement between the Sending Employer, the Using Employer, and the dispatch employee, this three-month period may be extended once, and is not to exceed an additional three months.
  1. In accordance with the introduction of the workplace harassment prevention law, it must be reflected in essential items in the employment rules (by July 1, 2019)
submitted by labor-attorney to Korean_Law [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 06:10 sadredditor23 too damaged or too weak?

Extremely long one, sorry, but I hope someone read it, I apologize in advance because this involves some repressed memories and as I was writing the first paragraph I started to feel a bit dizzy and I really think Im all over the place in some parts, then again, this is a extremely long one but I really need to get it out of me.
So, its been like 4 years and I'm (M28) still trying to get over my only relationship, so when I was 20 I meet this girl in the first day of college, 3 weeks later we were dating, then 3-4 years or so of relationship, is just strange to me nowadays because I dont remember a lot, I remember moments, she was cute and warm and I tried to be the best boyfriend as I could, I remember people saying things like "you two make me believe in love again" and things like that. I also remember her anger, not against anyone but herself, when a big project where due or finals she will get extremely frustrated with herself, we studied Design and se lacked a bit of artistic skills. She will try to hurt her self and I was always there, never raised my voice to her, never say anything harsh, I just tried to help her the best I could, these episodes where really intense but we always managed to get them under control.
3 years or so of that and I decided that I wanted to break up with her, and after an initial and logical reaction we manage to stay as friends, after all she was my best friend and I wanted to be sure that she will be ok. We stay that way for a few months and then got back together, time passed and both decided that we should see other people, we stayed as fuck buddies for a while and... I dont know time passed again, she fell for a few guys ended up disappointed, and started dating on tinder, I tried the same with no results, at this time I was struggling with a heavy depression episode that ended up hunting me to this date. We talked less and less but for what I could tell she was losing herself big time and I wasnt better at all. I was losing hope on getting a date or anything really, and I was considering killing my self (not being the first time, I was heavily bullied all my life and struggled with depression and bad self esteem since then).
One day we talked on the phone and she said she was fed up of people, that guys only see herself as a piece of meat and that she is worthless, that's where I decided that I want to be with her, and try to fix her (yeah I know now, that sounded terrible from almost every angle was wrong), that is something that always happens to me, no matter how bad I feel, if someone else was feeling bad and I were able to do something about it all my pain disappear, as long as I was someone else "armor" or "shield". So we where back together again, but this time was different, she was more sad, aggressive at times and very distrustful, her frustration episodes where worse than ever and to make things even worse we where at the end of the career, I was a semester behind because I fail some classes due to feeling like shit, but she was already working on her thesis, but she was stuck, unable to make progress, I stayed in her house a lot and work with her till morning in her thesis, trying to keep her somewhat stable, even her mom told me that she didnt know how I was able to stand her.
That last year is the one that I remember the most, In my life I only recall one time that I was completely defeated and cried over a mix of frustration and impotence, there were times when no matter what I did and no matter what I say she will go on and on with her insecurities and sadness, it broke me a few times. I remember trying to calm her down and being unable to, and keeping my appearance in front of her going to other room just to breathe trying no to colapse. Things got a bit better tho, just a bit, and then she told me she wanted to break up. I was sad, but relieved, a few weeks before that I was really feeling trapped, but not from her, she was always telling me that she wasn't worth it and I should leave her but I felt responsable of her. She was a bit better so letting the broke up happened felt somewhat right. I truly love her I knew she just needed to get over a few things to be better overall. But we broke up again, stayed as friends and even do a reunion with some friends shortly after.
-----
I need to make some notes here about our sexual life and chronology, it will be relevant later. (Im really sorry im all over the place with this, Im trying to tell everything that is relevant). So I divide all our relationship in 3 parts, the first 3 years (golden age and sadly most but not all of my repressed memories), the in between (when we were kind of ok, fuckbuddies and all that) and the downfall (the las bit and when all went horribly wrong). Booth were very sexual from the start, we both were virgins when we first get together and started our sexual lifes almost a week after we meet, the sex in the golden age was really awesome, both of us were looking forward for finally having a sexual partner so we talked a lot, try things and got very proficient on satisfy the other. The chemistry on bed was so good that even when she dated other I will receive a booty call from her almost weekly. When the downfall started, she was with a different guy every two days or so, I was feeling more and more depressed because while she was having any guy she wanted I was unable to get a single date. When we got together in the downfall, I had such low self esteem that my performance got worse and she noticed it, to make matter worse she starting asking thing she do with other guys that simple didn't work for me. I remember one time she got a ruler a measure my dick, she said something like "yeah its the biggest and thicker, so its not your dick" she sounded like she was disappointed somehow, I wasn't on my best condition and I started to last less and the sex would vary from good enough to bad.
At that time I started to resent her a lot and in my mind i was very judgmental of how she was living her sexuality in the time we where apart, all the tinder stuff, but never said anything (now in the present I know how wrong was that mind set and how chauvinist is that) , and for the next few years I struggled with how I perceive woman, myself and sex.
-----
She got a new boyfriend a month later and I was happy for her, but something inside me was very much broken, I though that it was the broke up so I just waited, then I try to date with no results, I never were good with dating stuff and felt misserable, then depression hit hard. Had bad luck and a few really awkward interactions with girls at parties, couple of bad experiences, and hit rock bottom self esteem. So in my lowest point I reach out to her, and she told me that she needed time and that she cant handle me. That was it, I fell into the abyss completely, I cut her of my life, deleted her from everywhere and never spoke with her again. Spend a good year drinking like a bastard, crawling to any place, party or group of "friends" and just rot. Some felt pity some just were disgusted with my presence, my scattered brain fell for a lot of girls just to hang to something but every crush was just awkward and lead to nothing at best. When I couldn't felt worse I took all the resentment and the sadness and turned into rage against mi ex, I knew even then that not all that happened to me was her fault, but I simply couldn't see any other way out of that sea of abysmal sadness, I tried to kill my self a few times but wasnt brave enough. Before meeting her I had anger issues result of a decade of intense bulling, it took me 2 years after highschool but trough meditation got it under control so I knew my anger in comparison was much better to deal than depression. So sadness was now rage, rage was manageble.
I cursed her name every day for 2-3 years, my friends got sick of me for being unable to get better, and its not like i was visibly angry all the time, but that resentment slip trough making all sort of emotional reactions, my self esteem didnt get any better and everyone noticed. I really tried to be better but at any mention of her name of anything related to her I just simply snapped. over the last year and a half I really started to get better and be better but that stain in my mind persist, I thought that the anger were finally dying but, knowing that she got immediately better and has been happy all this time just makes the anger stay. the worse thing is that I don't really remember the golden age any more, and for all the time I haven't hear from her I don't really know who she is. All I know is that she killed the girl that I loved and no longer remember.
Its been so long that I had been alone, its been so long since... everything but at the same time I was trapped in time, unable to heal, unable to feel anything but disgust, resentment and anger. I got a lot wiser, I know that Im a good friend, lots of people love me now, besides all the shit I put everyone trough in these years but, that stain just wont go away. Last year was an interesting one in my life I meet a lot of people some good, some terribly bad, but at the end I stayed on top of all that. But every now and then I got the same comment about how they wish I could just move on, and how much potential I have and so on. I keep remembering that in all these years I was able to get the awesome total of two sex encounters, that at times women make me feel a bit uncomfortable, I research for the possibility of getting a chemical castration just to be free of that part of humanity but apparently is not that simple, so now I just try not to think about it. Im a bit of an alcoholic but its not that bad really. I know that that sounds bad but I really am better than ever, because all those things are ideas that not longer overwhelm me. Is just that I dont really know if I can ever heal completely.
submitted by sadredditor23 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 05:02 spacecadet55 "Pledging my Purity to Dad" Review

Ok so my city is on complete lockdown so I have enough time on my hands to do these reviews because wtf will I do. I was the one who did a review of "A Courtship" and it was well received. To give you some context, I grew up in a very secular hometown and have a dad who is an athiest (and thinks religions are stupid) and likes wearing tommy bahama shirts and drinking tequila shots. He has absolutely zero involvement in knowing about my sex life. My fiance asked for my hand in marriage and my dad said, "Why are you asking me? Shes the difficult one." (I am). So this purity bullshit is very, VERY foreign to me.
Anyway after my first review of Stephen King's "A Courtship", you guys sent me to to my second review on the youtube video entitled "Pledging my Purity to my Dad," which has not endeared me to it at all. The narratodocumentary team is British and acting like Americans are some creature on national geographic.
We open with scenes from the purity ball and I can barely get passed the STRONG horse girl energy in that room. Wow. Also there are swords (seriously what the fuck is up with these people and swords?) and a cross altar thing with roses. All to apparently ward off the dreaded peen.
Then we meet Khrystian, the daughter of the head honcho (Randy Wilson) of this toddlers and tiaras meets Chinatown meets cotillion weird virgin ball. She says that purity is a big -part of her life, including how she speaks and what she watches. Clearly, she was not 11 years old stumbling upon a Being Bobby Brown marathon that has led to a lifelong reality tv addiction like yours truly. Anyway, moving along.
We are told there is this huge purity ball in Colorado Springs, which is the main event in this documentary.
Next we meet a man and his daughter and the man goes, "How cool would it be to be able to say I've kissed but one man in my life." Cool? Idk if cool is the right word. Like maybe sexually repressed and inexperienced might fit that better.
We meet the Wilsons, Randy and Lisa. They are hosting the ball. They're unabashedly sexist and we knew they would be. Lisa has not bothered to get her roots done and it's distracting. Lisa tells us that the ball is meant to represent a close and affirming relationship between a girl and her father because if the girl is apparently not valued by her father she will seek affirmation from another man. Ok, so daddy issues, we get it.
Then our British narrator tells us there is a big homemade wooden cross in the middle of this ball, in which all the girls will go before it and pledge to have a pure life. Because again this is not weird.
The leader of the event, Randy, who tends to say problematic thing every time his mouth opens, says that every woman has a core question in her and that question is, and I quote, "Am i beautiful? Am I worthy of being pursued?" AND THEN HE SAYS THAT ITS THE FATHER'S RESPONSIBILITY TO ANSWER WHETHER SHE IS BEAUTIFUL OR ELSE THE DAUGHTER WILL GO ELSEWHERE. WTF???
Ok so Rand, let's unpack this. You think the core question of a woman's life is whether she's beautiful? What about other things like my lifetime core question, "should i keep eating cheese even though I am clearly allergic to dairy?" So idk maybe is this a theological difference. Also what if you are just plumb ass ugly and okay with it?
ALSO why does he not distinguish between the loving bond of fathedaughter as opposed to a romantic/sexual relationship with a man? I would not, in a million billion years want my dad to make me feel "worth being pursued." Gross! This is a very, very, strange take on solving Daddy Issues.
Sooo now were back with Khrystian and her lack of eyebrows, and if you haven't noticed already I really dislike this girl. She says she does not go out to bars because she sets "higher standards".....to which I say fuck you bitch. Then she says she has never dated boy and does not desire to unless it's "intentional." Whatever that means. And then she says, in a super snotty voice, "I don't want to bring anything unhealthy into my body." Which made me scream out loud WHAT, LIKE A PENIS??
Rand is lamenting the absence of the father these days, saying, "Who does a little girl want to marry when she's 5,6,7? Her father." and then "The father is everything." Ok again, ew. I am starting to believe that maybe Rand has some very deep daddy issues of his own.
Then we get Kevin Moore, who is Rand's right hand man and he is STRESSED about the state of the world. According to Kevin the state of the world is awful because there is sex and drugs and gangs and partying. I would like to reiterate that Kevin has a lot of anxiety about this. A lot. Kevin has three daughters, the oldest being Rachel, 17. The Moores are about 78 billion times more likable than Rand and his family.
Queen Rachel makes a VALID point stating the drama is why she abstains from relationships. The DRAMA. She has brought up the only valid point in this entire purity mess. Then she says, "Girls will have like 3-4 boyfriends per month." WTF???!! Who?? and DAMN! Who is she referring to what is her secret??
Again Kevin has a lot of concerns. He is very stressed. He is scared his daughters will be heartbroken, get cervical cancer or STDs. Kevin was apparently a single parent for 10 years. Anyway all of these horrible things have only gotten WORSE according to Kevin. Kevin needs a xanax and a nap.
Then we have Claire, Kevin's 13 year old daughter. We have the snarky British interviewer really grill her about waiting to get married, which feels inappropriate. Rachel interjects and talks about it's adultery if you have sex with someone other than your husband even if you don't even know him yet. The British interviewer goes, "Well do expect the man to wait?" And Rachel, our purity Queen, goes, "Why not? HE CAN." SLAYYYYYYYY that double standard Queen Rachel.
Anyway, the British interviewer asks Claire if what if she doesn't like the way her husband kisses on her wedding day? Claire, being iconic, goes, "I probably would. He will probably take care of that one," with a GIANT smile on her face. From a formerly boy crazy tween, I 100% understand that response and STAN.
Ok so we leave the mildly unproblematic Moores and we arrive at a young girl reading the Princess and the Kiss. NOOOOOOO NOT THIS AGAIN. We are introduced to Hannah who does her interviews sitting uncomfortably close to her father and I think sitting on his lap. My desire to fast forward through their scenes is STRONG but I am sticking through it.
Hannah, 11, has an ENTIRE plan for when he meets a man she wants to get to know better, she will first bring him to her dad for "inspection." Then there is a whole process Hannah describes which I am not going to even entertain because I'll be honest Hannah scares me. She just really, really scares me.
Then Hannah (11) is sitting on her mother's lap (WHY IS SHE SITTING ON HER PARENTS' LAPS) while her mother talks about how she gave away pieces of her heart etc. and like ok that's fine but then Hannah starts talking in her weird monotone voice again and I am scared but she applauds her mom to not giving into "misery and despair" after breaking an engagement at one point. Jesus christ.
Ok and now we are back with the Wilsons, who turn out to have a whole gaggle of kids and of course they are singing which is making me give into misery and despair. We meet Lauren, the Wilson's oldest daughter who is married and saved her first kiss for marriage. However, her husband, did not and she explains this with the creepiest smile and again I am scared.
Next we meet Jessica who is included to describe the dark side of purity culture. I respect Jessica and her journey so there's not much to snark on, but basically she started dating a purity guy at 19 and sex "just happened." And then it "just kept happening." Relatable af even for a non-fundie lol. Anyhoo, she ended up getting pregnant because she had NO education.
Moving onto the ICONIC WILDCARD of this documentary. David Diefenderfer, who is fully a cowboy from some gritty western Americana drama, is literally the definition of "here by mistake". David tells us he lost his virginity at 13 and had sex with a 20 year old at age 15. He says, "I guess that's what they call molestation today." Yes, David, that is what it is called. He says, "Fast forward I have 9 children with 7 different women." DAVID.
David goes onto express that not one of those kids was on purpose. I feel like a lot of David's problems could have been resolved with condoms but ok.
His daughters Kaleesha, 16, and Taylor, 12, help him out in his business of impregnating cows. When asked, Kaleesha says she does not want to date anyone like her dad because of the whole nine kids thing.
We get the first inkling that David does NOT understand the actual purity ball because he is like "I just don't want my daughters to go down the same path as I did." Like David, there is a happy medium between not kissing before marriage and having nine children on accident. Anyway, David clearly doesn't understand this ball and his daughter pulls out a strappy NOT fundie-approved dress that she plans on wearing.
Then UGHHHHHHH we go back to the Wilsons and their weird son Colten, 21 (kinda a cutie NGL). He has never kissed a girl and does not date anyone. Then Colten says his mom calls him a "physical romantic" so he can't get close to anyone before marriage. LISA YOU MONSTER MAKING POOR COLTEN THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM FOR ASSOCIATING ROMANTIC FEELINGS WITH PHYSICAL TOUCH.
We have another Jessica segment and again there's nothing to snark on. Jessica's doing FINE and has left purity culture behind.
Do you know who is not doing fine? The Wilsons, who we constantly apparently have to revert back to visiting. Rand, who just a fucking freak, has all of his children kneel in a line in front of him to receive his blessings. This is not a joke. They are kneeling in a line while their dad touches their heads and blesses them and gives really wrong definitions of their names. I absolutely refuse to recap this in detail because it was so fucking weird.
So then we get Kevin's traumatic backstory of basically having to raise himself, which is sad. Notably, we get a flash of a problematic figurine of a black knight with a sword (it is for context that the man is black) guarding a toddler at his feet, but the toddler is erm, well looking like those racist dolls. I am going to take a wild guess and say this was a gift from Rand.
Ok so the ball starts and I am wondering if there is alcohol, and I am sure David is wondering the same thing, as he is also realizing he had noooo idea what he signed up for.
Again I want to stress the horse girl energy emanating from this room. WOW.
Our sweet stressed Kevin says that he has never has been to Buckingham Palace but he thinks this is as close as it gets. And I am like yes Kevin, there are a lot of problematic incest things happening at Buckingham palace too, but I am sure that's not what you mean.
The ball begins (of course) with the Wilson children serenading Rand and talking about how awesome he and the flash to David's confused face was priceless.
Then they do this covenant to protect their daughter's purity which they all sign. Normal. Of course.
Kevin has a redemption arc when the interviewer asks about what he thinks of a girl who has sex before marriage and he says well I think she got robbed of something special but that doesn't mean she's no good. Oh, nice Kevin.
Then of course there are swords being held before this giant cross where the girls put roses at the cross because this event is not at all weird or creepy at all. Also Kevin LOVES holding the sword wayyyy too much.
David reveals that he literally had no clue what he signed up for saying, "Whether a girl has sex doesn't depend on her signing a paper, what matters is what she feels is right or wrong inside of her." DAVID YOU LITERALLY TRAVELLED ACROSS STATE LINES TO A BALL THAT YOU SEEM TO FUNDAMENTALLY DISAGREE WITH. Honestly, it makes sense that a man with nine accidental kids would do something like accidentally going to a purity ball.
The Wilsons are asked a similar question to Kevin and Lisa answers a whole mess of things about STD's and says, "This is the most sexually chaotic generation in history," which made me fully snort. Sexually chaotic is an amazing phrase and like what even is sexual chaos??? Oh wait- I know, it's having a ball where little girls pledge their virginities to their fathers! Bingo.
Hannah and her creepy ass Dad are back to address that people call the ball incestuous. Because the literal children of the corn explaining the incest aspect of this event is what we need. Hannah's dad goes, "MY PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP IS WITH MY WIFE." Ok thank you for the clarification...?
Anyway, it ends with Khrystian apparently haven gotten engaged. Hannah and her family still have sleep paralysis demon energy Kevin still has problems with anxiety, and David still does not know where he is unless it is a farm or ranch. Jessica drives off into the sunset and is apparently Miss Colorado?! Anyway. This was a messy journey but we have made it to the end.
submitted by spacecadet55 to FundieSnark [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 03:03 OkSea9887 I can't take the constant thoughts of my (20f) bf (21m) being with other girls anymore but I don't want to break up with him, what do i do?

My boyfriend has had three long term (all at least 1 year) relationships before me, as well as several friends with benefits and 6 one night stands, all by the time he was 19. I had never had any relationships before him and have only slept with him. when we met a year and a half ago he had just stopped sleeping with this girl who he had been seeing casually for about 6 months. they went on holiday together a month and a half before we met, and then they stopped sleeping together because of summer break about a month before i met him.
at first I was fine with his exes and eve thought it was a good thing that he had been in relationships before me, i thought it would mean he knew what he was doing, he was a good guy and treated girls well. I also knew he had had a few one night stands and slept around before we even started dating and didn't even think about it really, until around February this year after we had been dating for 7 months.
It has steadily gotten worse and worse, it used to be some bad days but most of the time I could ignore it and move on, but in the last few months it has become so frequent that I can't remember the last time i had a whole day without them. i think about it all the time, my bf will say something to me and i start to wonder if he's said that to someone else, if we have had the same conversations, i think about how he has held them and kissed them and had sex with them the same ways he does with me and I can't get myself to stop thinking about it. It makes me feel gross and horrible and i lash out and i can be really rude to him.
I always apologize after but i honestly sometimes don't even want to be near him when i think these things. He knows I think these things and is really supportive when I get upset and tries to reassure me but it doesn't help at all because I know he doesn't fully understand since he can't relate. I know he gets frustrated and thinks I am overreacting and then i feel really guilty and judgmental even though I don't have an issue with people sleeping around. Loads of my friends have had one night stands and things like that and I don't think there is anything wrong with it and even encourage my friends, and I didn't have a problem with it for the first half of our relationship so I don't know why it started and why I am being judgy about his past now.
I have read so much information on how to stop obsessive thoughts, I even had a counselling session to try and address the problem but nothing has helped. I found out about retroactive jealousy and started researching and trying the suggested techniques about three months ago and every time i read something that is meant to help or has helped someone else I try it with an open mind. I know nothing will work straight away and that everything takes time but I have been having these thoughts for 10 months now and trying to manage them ever since. I have obsessive thoughts about other things as well but in the last few months every day all I seem to be able to think about is my bf and the previous girls he's been with. I can't seem to get a break or distract myself, it is especially worse when I am with him or by myself, friends sometimes help after a while I can be distracted but not always.
It has been awful the past few weeks and I was hoping when I went home I would feel better and have some space but now I am isolating for two weeks and I have nothing to do but think. I have told my bf not to let me ask questions anymore because that just makes it worse, I have tried writing down the thoughts, going for a walk, changing the scenery, doing something to distract myself, and even have tried forcing myself to think about this (confronting the thoughts is meant to help). It has gotten so bad I don't think I will ever get over it and the only way out I can think of is to just break up with him but i really really don't want to do that. Apart from his history he is honestly perfect for me, and even logically i know his past isn't an issue and it doesn't bother me when i am in a good mood at all, when I start obsessing I can't imagine a time when I will ever be able to deal with it.
I love him so much and i definitely don't want to end things over my own stupid problem if I can fix it, I just don't know how. I am not sure what to do anymore.
submitted by OkSea9887 to retroactivejealousy [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 02:37 cass2769 We went to the drive-in theater last night

We went to the drive-in last night and saw a double feature. Stopped and got fast food on the way and brought some drinks from home. It was a really nice pleasant night. There was some hand holding and some kisses... A couple of them were deep kisses. Of course I didn't expect anything more.
As we drove home I got a little bit sad. It was a nice night and we had a nice time... But it didn't feel romantic like I hoped it would. And I guess that's okay... new relationship energy has gone... And I know not every date night is going to be super romantic.
But I think I'm coming to terms more with the idea that he's good with how it is. I think for all these years I've still been thinking "if we can just figure out what the problem is, We can find a solution and this will all get better". But thanks to our couples therapist and just the work of doing on my own, I think I'm getting to a place where I may be more accepting of the idea that this is just who he is and it's not going to change.
That said I'm still following all the counselors recommendations...and she says it could have a positive effect on our sex life... But she also says it might not. But still trying.
I do appreciate our relationship for what it is... A close friendship... But I guess I don't really think of him as my life partner anymore or at least not in the same way. To me if I'm going to have a romantic partner for life relatively frequent sex needs to be a part of it. I can be flexible and compromise on what relatively frequent means... But once every month or two... That's just not going to cut it for me.
Even as I write this I think back on my ex. We also had a db and he told me so many times that he just wasn't all that into sex but that he was into me. Cut to 4 years later and he's married to somebody and I know they have a good sex life because I know his wife pretty well and she would not have married him if the sex part was not working. I feel like it would be the same with my partner too... He'll keep saying he has just a low libido until he meets someone else (someone prettier and sexier) and then he'll realize "oh I didn't have a low libido I just wasn't into her"
Smh. why can't guys just have these realizations while they're with me rather than wasting my time?
submitted by cass2769 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 02:21 spac_erain being a lesbian, but being attracted to male characters?

i just recently came out as a lesbian after years of identifying as bisexual. i’m only 19 so not crazy late to the game. but i’m still struggling.
i’ve never been with a woman in any non-platonic way, so i really don’t have a gauge for what a wlw relationship would feel like for me. however, i’m struggling with my sexuality because i still “feel” something when i see male characters in tv that i find attractive. it’s not a sexual feeling, it’s kind of like a burning in my stomach? and i never think anything sexual or romantic about them, just that i have like a pull towards them? i don’t know how to describe it.
i’m not interested in dating men in real life, i can identify when i think they’re attractive but the second they have interest in me, my attraction to them dips out and i’m repulsed by them. i broke off a 3 year relationship with a man after i came out and the lesbian masterdoc really pushed me over the edge because i related so much to it. i’m not interested in a relationship with men, i don’t want to have sex with them, but i “feel” something towards certain male characters on screen. am i still a lesbian??
submitted by spac_erain to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 02:06 Cute5555 36 M4F Harrisonburg, VA - Any girls interested in carpooling to Universal Studios Orlando w/ me? Could be a fun way to start a [relationship]!

So I'm tentatively going to be going to Universal Studios theme parks in Orlando, FL in just a few days (probably leaving Sunday (12/06/20), or Monday (12/07). Can possibly be slightly flexible on leave/return dates, but get in touch with me ASAP, the sooner we talk the more time/flexibility we have. Also I'm happy to (and strongly prefer to, if the schedule permits and you're local enough) meet in person at least briefly before the trip, to make sure we click well enough for such a trip (and being in a car together that long haha). If this post is still up, I haven't left yet, so if you're interested, get in touch with me ASAP! :)
Also FYI as far as distance goes, I live near Harrisonburg, just a little north of it. As long as you live within 45 min north-ish of Harrisonburg, or within 20-30 min off the interstate south of Harrisonburg (because that would be along the way on the trip) than I can pick you up if needed. Exception made for Charlottesville and possibly Richmond, or people relatively close to the interstate along that route, as I could take an alternate route then (I-95); I usually go through Charlotte, NC. Also if you're willing to drive to me to meet me right before we leave, then I don't mind where you live haha. :)
So you know what to expect, we'll be gone 8 days, 5 days there in FL (we'll drive part way back later on in the day on the last day in FL). Might be able to stay in FL for a 6th day adding a day to the trip if that works better for you, we can discuss options.
I want to be clear about this up front: I am NOT OFFERING TO PAY FOR YOUR TICKETS, FOOD, ETC. - we'll each pay for our own expenses (i.e. food, tickets), and split shared expenses 50/50 (i.e. hotel, gas). That said, I've been there several times and am very good at keeping the trip costs low, so this would be the cheapest you'd almost ever be able to go for, in terms of travel costs, hotel costs, and universal does have some good ticket deals at the moment. I'll go over costs later so you have a much better idea how much you can expect the trip to cost. This is a good opportunity for us to both save some money AND have an enjoyable trip, PLUS have someone to enjoy it with! And hopefully we click well enough to start a relationship! If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but if it does it would be a heck of a cool way to start a relationship (and a story to tell when asked how we met haha). Also, this is definitely NOT a requirement, but it would be fun if you've never been there before, and I could show you around and get to be there as you experience all the cool rides and shows at Universal Studios! <3
So, YES, I AM looking for someone to go to the parks with me. However, I'm also looking for a relationship with that person (very preferably romantic, but if we don't click well enough for that I would be open to a somewhat more casual one, i.e. FWBs). Anyways, with that in mind, you do need to be single (I'm not looking for any drama haha) and looking for a relationship - or at least very open to the possibility. And THAT being said, NO I will not be EXPECTING any sex or sexual favors. I'm a very respectful, considerate, and responsible guy. IF we click well enough and want to have some intimate fun, that's cool, but that is NOT a requirement or expectation of you. I'm an intellectual guy and enjoy chatting and getting to know people as well, so even if we end up only chatting and enjoy the theme parks together, that's totally cool. It'd be awesome if we get to know each other during the trip and we click well enough to start a relationship, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, and that's fine. But again, please be open to / looking for a relationship going into this, and willing to put in a reasonable amount of effort to get to know each other (talking). Also keep in mind we ARE going to need to click well enough to be able to spend all those hours in a car together haha, also we will be sleeping in the same hotel room - and potentially the same (big) bed, so you can't be TOO reserved (you certainly can go into the bathroom to change though (or I go into the bathroom), etc.). Also, I know how to keep my hands to myself and I'm NOT going to be touching/feeling you at night (unless you gave me explicit permission first). Or any any other time, for that matter (talking about any remotely intimate touching - we'll probably touch sometimes while carrying things or handing each other things etc. haha). Also, as a slim guy that's at least a little active, I connect with (and am attracted to) average to slim/petite girls. I don't mind if you're SLIGHTLY overweight, and you don't need to be a model for me to be attracted to you. :) I'm not super picky but I do some preferences haha. Also, be aware, YOU WILL BE DOING A LOT OF WALKING AT THE THEME PARKS. That's just the way theme parks are for those that haven't been in one; expect to walk several miles a day.
Thirdly, going to a theme park is NOT an extremely irresponsible thing to do during COVID. We're going to be in a car and only stopping at hotels / rest areas / drive-through during travel, so not interacting with people along the way. And the theme parks themselves have taken FULL social distancing precautions, masks are required at ALL times, including on rides (exception for when eating at a table). Also, they do mandatory temperature checks to be allowed into the park, and all lines/rides keep groups 6 ft or more apart. Also, EVERY person is given hand sanitizer before getting on EVERY ride, EVERY time. Plus the rides are sanitized periodically. Also FYI in general life I wear masks whenever I go out, and even then I only rarely go out for shopping or other necessities, and occasionally visiting a friend. Still, this trip is NOT for anyone that is completely paranoid of COVID - even though you're probably more likely to get it a a grocery store, where there's no temperature checks, people HAVE to go to to eat, and everyone is touching everything unsanitized. Also for the record, at the moment I don't have any symptoms of COVID, nor any reason to think I have it, although of course it's always possible I pick it up grocery shopping or something. While I think it's extremely unlikely, I can't promise you won't get it. But neither does staying at home guarantee you won't get it. Nothing in life has ZERO risk.
We'll be staying in a mid-range motel in Kissimmee, FL that I've been at several times; it's affordable but still very clean and decent, definitely not a bottom-of-the-barrel dump like some of the cheap places in that area. I'm happy to talk more details directly, I just don't want to publicly state where I'm staying haha. Depending on what days we go (weekend nights a SLIGHTLY more expensive, but not enough to be a big deal) the hotel costs will likely be in the ballpark of $260 to $270 for 5 nights; I would be expecting to split that 50/50 with you, but that's only ~$135 a person. Also, I'm planning to make the drive down to FL and back up over 2 days. Assume we'll need 1 more hotel night each way (so 2 more total) at very roughly $50/night (I haven't checked prices on that yet), but again splitting it 50/50, so only another $50 each, and it might be slightly cheaper. Also there's a small chance I may be able to stay at a friend's house on the way up and/or back and save the hotel costs, but assume we won't, and if we can it's just an added bonus.
As far as tickets go, I have a Premier (top level) annual pass (which also gives me free parking at Universal, yay!), so you have two decent options. (Well, three in the unlikely event you already have an annual pass haha). First, universal is currently having a special going on to where if you buy a 2-day ticket, you get 3 MORE days FREE (so, 5 days for the price of 2). If you get the 1-park-per-day version of that ticket, it's right around $260. Alternatively, your second option is to get a season pass (lowest tier annual pass, with some blackout dates), it's only around $65 more, but then you have an annual pass for a year, AND you can unlimitedly park-hop (between the main Universal Park and Universal's Islands of Adventure, which is literally right next to it. FYI you must have a park-hop ticket to ride the Hogwart's Express train (as it takes you back and forth to the other park - although it's also a ride experience).
As for food costs, there is a McDonald's and a Burger King basically next to the hotel in FL, I'll usually eat there (usually McDonald's) for breakfast and dinner, and just have a snack in the park. For me doing that, food costs are roughly $9 to $11 a day for reference, but depending on what you like it may be more (or slightly less). If you're trying to keep the costs low, you're welcome to do that too; if you can afford the expensive theme park food though, you're welcome to do that though, whatever works for you. :)
I suppose I should give you some basics about me. I'm white (but it's fine if you're not), 5'11" and 165 lbs. I'm single. never married, no kids, so no drama there (you need to be single with no kids as well). I'm 36, but I look a good bit younger (and I'm not just saying that). I'm happy to share some (CLEAN) pictures immediately, and again happy to meet before the trip (if practical from a time/location standpoint). We'll definitely need to chat on the phone first. Anyways, it would be nice to find someone that's 18 to 29 or so, but willing to consider anyone up to my age. I have somewhat typical nerdy interests (Video Games [primarily PC], YouTube, Netflix, Movies, Anime, Hobbyist computer programming, etc.), but also enjoy jogging or a nice walk in the park. As an intellectual I also love talking to people and getting to know them very well (particularly a romantic interest) and hearing about their own thoughts, experiences, and life stories. I enjoy chatting about almost anything, and I have other knowledge/interests outside what I mentioned of course, but I wanted to give you a general idea about me. Partly due to my nerdy interests (and partly due to my strict childhood - although I'm a lot more open minded now) I usually tend to click better with girls younger than me, but as with everything there are exceptions. While I'm not shy anymore, I used to be EXTREMELY shy; with that in mind, while I'm not specifically looking for someone shy (any more or less than someone whom isn't), if you are shy I'm fine with that and happy to work with you. Having been shy myself, I can usually make shy people comfortable relatively quickly, and I don't mind carrying the conversation at first until you get more comfortable with me. Anyways, like I said I'm open to a decent variety, I don't mind if you've just graduated High School (or college) or if you're in your late 20s and established in a career - or just getting through life and trying to find yourself haha.
If you're super interested and we REALLY click but you can't quite afford the trip (but CLOSE), I might be willing to pay a little more of the shared costs to make things work. That said, if you can't afford your ticket and at least some shared costs, it's not going to work out. If you're pretty young (i.e. 18-22 or so) it's a bit more understandable if you can't afford quite as much, so I might be willing to work with you more, but you'll at LEAST need to be able to cover all your direct costs (Ticket and food) and at least a little of the other costs.
Thanks for your time, if you're at all interested, please hit me up ASAP and we can talk details! I don't get offended easily, and we don't have a ton of time, so feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I understand this is a somewhat big thing to do last minute like this, so I expect you to have plenty of questions, potentially including some personal ones, and that's fine haha. Again if you're even somewhat interested but want to find out more, feel free to ask! Also, I'm happy to exchange (clean) photos after just a few messages, assuming we click so far. I understand that due to the tight time frame we can't beat around the bush haha. On that note I'm happy to give out my phone number or some type of social media after not too much chatting so we can voice chat and work out more details / see if we click well enough for a trip like this.
Thanks for your time, and again if you're at all interested or curious (and would be available in that time frame and could afford the trip), please send me a message or e-mail! :)
submitted by Cute5555 to MeetPeople [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 02:02 Focus62 28 F4M Ace - Southeastern US

Perhaps one day I'll find someone? That's the hope anyway.
Single/taken/complicated: Single
Seeking relationship/friends/squish/other: Long term relationship mainly, but friends welcome
Romantic orientation: Asexual, aegosexual I suppose. Hetero and if it's possible, light romantic?
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Age: 28
Height/build: 5' 7", not "fit" as in muscles, but rather lean; fuller hips and thighs though.
Physical description: Dark blonde (dirty blonde?), green eyes, short faux hawk type of haircut. You may notice that I have three scars on my cheek but I like to think they give my face some character :). I wear a lot of tshirts and am not a fashionista, I like to be comfortable and form-fitting shirts just aren't, what can I say. I would live in hoodies and jackets if I could year round.
Personality description: Introvert but friendly. Empathetic. Relatively easy going. Sarcastic. Independent; I can take care of myself. Much more of a listener than a talker in group situations, but one on one I can usually hold my own. You will never ever find me partying. Not really affectionate or much of a cuddler. I do like kisses (not making out), holding hands, and hugs. This is why I call myself a "light" romantic, I guess.
Location: Currently TN, though I am originally from Wisconsin and have been all over the place for short-term (few months) positions.
I like to think I'm pretty "normal," but what does that really mean? I blend in with the crowd (and I like it that way). I have had all sorts of pets since I was a kid and I will never not have one; they are my life line. You must be cool with dogs, cats, and reptiles (dealbreaker for me if you are not). I'm a geospatial analyst for a wildlife conservation organization - it may sound complicated, but it's basically making maps, doing some data analysis, and programming. My other hobbies include building bioactive vivariums for reptiles, hiking, and reading/collecting cool collected editions of comics. I am someone who needs a fair amount of alone time, but I do enjoy dates and am always down to have an interesting conversation. I do not smoke and do not enjoy bars or drinking at all. Hopefully it is obvious, but just in case, I don't like or really have any desire to have sex. Been there, done that, it is not for me.
I'd really like to find someone interested in a long-term relationship whose love language doesn't include a high degree of physical touch or doting/attention. I'm just not a touchy-feely person and I'm tired of feeling self-conscious in relationships because it just doesn't come naturally to me. I do think that one day I would like to foster or adopt kids, so I hope you would be open to that idea.
Drop me a message if you're curious to know more or think we could be a good fit!
submitted by Focus62 to asexualdating [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 01:42 Cute5555 36 M4F Harrisonburg, VA - Any girls interested in carpooling to Universal Studios Orlando w/ me? Could be a fun way to start a relationship!

So I'm tentatively going to be going to Universal Studios theme parks in Orlando, FL in just a few days (probably leaving Sunday (12/06/20), or Monday (12/07). Can possibly be slightly flexible on leave/return dates, but get in touch with me ASAP, the sooner we talk the more time/flexibility we have. Also I'm happy to (and strongly prefer to, if the schedule permits and you're local enough) meet in person at least briefly before the trip, to make sure we click well enough for such a trip (and being in a car together that long haha). If this post is still up, I haven't left yet, so if you're interested, get in touch with me ASAP! :)
Also FYI as far as distance goes, I live near Harrisonburg, just a little north of it. As long as you live within 45 min north-ish of Harrisonburg, or within 20-30 min off the interstate south of Harrisonburg (because that would be along the way on the trip) than I can pick you up if needed. Exception made for Charlottesville and possibly Richmond, or people relatively close to the interstate along that route, as I could take an alternate route then (I-95); I usually go through Charlotte, NC. Also if you're willing to drive to me to meet me right before we leave, then I don't mind where you live haha. :)
So you know what to expect, we'll be gone 8 days, 5 days there in FL (we'll drive part way back later on in the day on the last day in FL). Might be able to stay in FL for a 6th day adding a day to the trip if that works better for you, we can discuss options.
I want to be clear about this up front: I am NOT OFFERING TO PAY FOR YOUR TICKETS, FOOD, ETC. - we'll each pay for our own expenses (i.e. food, tickets), and split shared expenses 50/50 (i.e. hotel, gas). That said, I've been there several times and am very good at keeping the trip costs low, so this would be the cheapest you'd almost ever be able to go for, in terms of travel costs, hotel costs, and universal does have some good ticket deals at the moment. I'll go over costs later so you have a much better idea how much you can expect the trip to cost. This is a good opportunity for us to both save some money AND have an enjoyable trip, PLUS have someone to enjoy it with! And hopefully we click well enough to start a relationship! If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but if it does it would be a heck of a cool way to start a relationship (and a story to tell when asked how we met haha). Also, this is definitely NOT a requirement, but it would be fun if you've never been there before, and I could show you around and get to be there as you experience all the cool rides and shows at Universal Studios! <3
So, YES, I AM looking for someone to go to the parks with me. However, I'm also looking for a relationship (very preferably romantic, but if we don't click well enough for that I would be open to a somewhat more casual one, i.e. FWBs). Anyways, with that in mind, you do need to be single (I'm not looking for any drama haha) and looking for a relationship - or at least very open to the possibility. And THAT being said, NO I will not be EXPECTING any sex or sexual favors. I'm a very respectful, considerate, and responsible guy. IF we click well enough and want to have some intimate fun, that's cool, but that is NOT a requirement or expectation of you. It'd be a shame to spend a bunch of time alone together in a hotel and not have some fun haha, but again it's NOT a requirement. I'm an intellectual guy and enjoy chatting and getting to know people as well, so if we only chat and enjoy the theme parks together, that's totally cool too. It'd be awesome if we get to know each other during the trip and we click well enough to start a relationship, or at least fool around some, even if we don't have sex, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, and that's fine. But again, please be open to / looking for a relationship going into this, and willing to put in a reasonable amount of effort to get to know each other (talking). Also keep in mind we ARE going to need to click well enough to be able to spend all those hours in a car together haha, also we will be sleeping in the same hotel room - and potentially the same (big) bed, so you can't be TOO reserved (you certainly can go into the bathroom to change though (or I go into the bathroom), etc.). Also, I know how to keep my hands to myself and I'm NOT going to be touching/feeling you at night (unless you gave me explicit permission first). Also, as a slim guy that's at least a little active, I connect with (and am attracted to) average to slim/petite girls. I don't mind if you're SLIGHTLY overweight, and you don't need to be a model for me to be attracted to you. :) I'm not super picky but I do some preferences haha.
Thirdly, going to a theme park is NOT an extremely irresponsible thing to do during COVID. We're going to be in a car and only stopping at hotels / rest areas / drive-through during travel, so not interacting with people along the way. And the theme parks themselves have taken FULL social distancing precautions, masks are required at ALL times, including on rides (exception for when eating at a table). Also, they do mandatory temperature checks to be allowed into the park, and all lines/rides keep groups 6 ft or more apart. Also, EVERY person is given hand sanitizer before getting on EVERY ride, EVERY time. Plus the rides are sanitized periodically. Also FYI in general life I wear masks whenever I go out, and even then I only rarely go out for shopping or other necessities, and occasionally visiting a friend. Still, this trip is NOT for anyone that is completely paranoid of COVID - even though you're probably more likely to get it a a grocery store, where there's no temperature checks, people HAVE to go to to eat, and everyone is touching everything unsanitized. Also for the record, at the moment I don't have any symptoms of COVID, nor any reason to think I have it, although of course it's always possible I pick it up grocery shopping or something. While I think it's extremely unlikely, I can't promise you won't get it. But neither does staying at home guarantee you won't get it. Nothing in life has ZERO risk.
We'll be staying in a mid-range motel in Kissimmee, FL that I've been at several times; it's affordable but still very clean and decent, definitely not a bottom-of-the-barrel dump like some of the cheap places in that area. I'm happy to talk more details directly, I just don't want to publicly state where I'm staying haha. Depending on what days we go (weekend nights a SLIGHTLY more expensive, but not enough to be a big deal) the hotel costs will likely be in the ballpark of $260 to $270 for 5 nights; I would be expecting to split that 50/50 with you, but that's only ~$135 a person. Also, I'm planning to make the drive down to FL and back up over 2 days. Assume we'll need 1 more hotel night each way (so 2 more total) at very roughly $50/night (I haven't checked prices on that yet), but again splitting it 50/50, so only another $50 each, and it might be slightly cheaper. Also there's a small chance I may be able to stay at a friend's house on the way up and/or back and save the hotel costs, but assume we won't, and if we can it's just an added bonus.
As far as tickets go, I have a Premier (top level) annual pass (which also gives me free parking at Universal, yay!), so you have two decent options. (Well, three in the unlikely event you already have an annual pass haha). First, universal is currently having a special going on to where if you buy a 2-day ticket, you get 3 MORE days FREE (so, 5 days for the price of 2). If you get the 1-park-per-day version of that ticket, it's right around $260. Alternatively, your second option is to get a season pass (lowest tier annual pass, with some blackout dates), it's only around $65 more, but then you have an annual pass for a year, AND you can unlimitedly park-hop (between the main Universal Park and Universal's Islands of Adventure, which is literally right next to it. FYI you must have a park-hop ticket to ride the Hogwart's Express train (as it takes you back and forth to the other park - although it's also a ride experience).
As for food costs, there is a McDonald's and a Burger King basically next to the hotel in FL, I'll usually eat there (usually McDonald's) for breakfast and dinner, and just have a snack in the park. For me doing that, food costs are roughly $9 to $11 a day for reference, but depending on what you like it may be more (or slightly less). If you're trying to keep the costs low, you're welcome to do that too; if you can afford the expensive theme park food though, you're welcome to do that though, whatever works for you. :)
I suppose I should give you some basics about me. I'm white (but it's fine if you're not), 5'11" and 165 lbs. I'm single. never married, no kids, so no drama there (you need to be single with no kids as well). I'm 36, but I look a good bit younger (and I'm not just saying that). I'm happy to share some (CLEAN) pictures immediately, and again happy to meet before the trip (if practical from a time/location standpoint). We'll definitely need to chat on the phone first. Anyways, it would be nice to find someone that's 18 to 29 or so, but willing to consider anyone up to my age. I have somewhat typical nerdy interests (Video Games [primarily PC], YouTube, Netflix, Movies, Anime, Hobbyist computer programming, etc.), but also enjoy jogging or a nice walk in the park. As an intellectual I also love talking to people and getting to know them very well (particularly a romantic interest) and hearing about their own thoughts, experiences, and life stories. I enjoy chatting about almost anything, and I have other knowledge/interests outside what I mentioned of course, but I wanted to give you a general idea about me. Partly due to my nerdy interests (and partly due to my strict childhood - although I'm a lot more open minded now) I usually tend to click better with girls younger than me, but as with everything there are exceptions. While I'm not shy anymore, I used to be EXTREMELY shy; with that in mind, while I'm not specifically looking for someone shy (any more or less than someone whom isn't), if you are shy I'm fine with that and happy to work with you. Having been shy myself, I can usually make shy people comfortable relatively quickly, and I don't mind carrying the conversation at first until you get more comfortable with me. Anyways, like I said I'm open to a decent variety, I don't mind if you've just graduated High School (or college) or if you're in your late 20s and established in a career - or just getting through life and trying to find yourself haha.
If you're super interested and we REALLY click but you can't quite afford the trip (but CLOSE), I might be willing to pay a little more of the shared costs to make things work. That said, if you can't afford your ticket and at least some shared costs, it's not going to work out. If you're pretty young (i.e. 18-22 or so) it's a bit more understandable if you can't afford quite as much, so I might be willing to work with you more, but you'll at LEAST need to be able to cover all your direct costs (Ticket and food) and at least a little of the other costs.
Thanks for your time, if you're at all interested, please hit me up ASAP and we can talk details! I don't get offended easily, and we don't have a ton of time, so feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I understand this is a somewhat big thing to do last minute like this, so I expect you to have plenty of questions, potentially including some personal ones, and that's fine haha. Again if you're even somewhat interested but want to find out more, feel free to ask! Also, I'm happy to exchange (clean) photos after just a few messages, assuming we click so far. I understand that due to the tight timeframe we can't beat around the bush haha. On that note I'm happy to give out my phone number or some type of social media after not too much chatting so we can voice chat and work out more details / see if we click well enough for a trip like this.
Thanks for your time, and again if you're at all interested or curious (and would be available in that timeframe and could afford the trip), please send me a message or e-mail! :)
submitted by Cute5555 to VirginiaR4R [link] [comments]


2020.12.05 00:55 mourning_alc Always have higher sex drive than my partners

So I haven’t seen too many of these that I can relate too, so here I am. I am a female in my 20s. I have always had a much higher sex drive than my boyfriends or guys I’m dating and it usually messes up the relationship
When I was living with someone I prefer it a minimum of 1x a day but usually more but it doesn’t even have to be sex, I love giving bjs. ... he ended up breaking up with me literally because of that. Saying he felt used, sex wasn’t all we did, we would have cute date nights/nights out with friends or movie nights that didn’t involve that. As well as hiking and day trips that didn’t result in sex.
But guys Ive dated that I don’t live with I like to have sex when we do see each other, I work soooo much so if we aren’t living together I don’t see them often.
This is usually the reason we don’t last, because either I feel unsatisfied in it or they feel used. How should I ask about that before we get more serious so I don’t keep wasting my time??
Edit: grammar
submitted by mourning_alc to sex [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 23:44 anonimitch Struggling with libido problems

Hey guys,
Posting here in hopes of getting some advice on some libido problems I've been having; and in hindsight, may have been going on longer than I thought. Little about me; 32, pretty good shape I would say but could probably do with losing maybe 5-10kg.
Bit of back story; my sex drive I would have said was pretty good, in fact I've been called out as being almost sex obsessed on some occassions, so if anything, perhaps my drive was too high. That said, I've had my fair share of performance anxiety, particularly with unexpected sexual encounters with new people; but I think generally, once I'm comfortable and out of my own head I'm fine. However, given we're mid-pandemic and my ex dumped me just before the lockdowns, I've essentially been on a dry spell for the last 9 months, until recently; started dating a new girl nearly two months ago now.
So, the problem. I find myself having difficulty staying aroused for very long. Not staying hard is one thing; but these days I find it difficult to even feel horny at all. When I compare myself to last year, where I'd masturbate regularly enough; there'd be days where I would be going out of my mind with horniness, but I haven't had that in quite a while now; most days I just don't feel horny at all. Obviously enough this is kind of causing problems; the girl I'm currently dating is super understanding about it, which is nice, though does make me feel a little pitiful still; but she's also one of the most sexually open women I've been with and I haven't had anything be "off the table" with her, so I'm thinking it's relatively safe to rule out attraction or unsatisying sex as the culprit.
Possible causes I'm thinking:
- Can an 8 month dry spell alone be the cause? I've pretty much gone from relationship to relationship since my teen years; so this is probably my longest dry spell ever; is this potentially a cause?
- Condoms only sex; I've had partners that were condom only in the past, which as we all know leads to a loss of sensation generally speaking. This has caused problems a few times in the past, but not this consistently. Not only the lessened sensation, but even the having to stop what we're doing to go get a condom, unwrap, put it on etc. sometimes is enough for me to flop. Nothing more embarrassing than going soft as you're trying to wrap up.
- I'm 32; I know these problems become more prevelant the older you get, but I didn't think it'd be hitting me at 32. Is age a potential factor or is it genuinely too young for these problems?
- Masturbation; last year I'd say I'd masturbate regularly, every day or two on average; sometime a few times a day; depends. If I wasn't expecting to have sex I'd often relieve myself; and if I found myself unexpectedly having sex the same day after having masturbated, sometimes I might have arousal issues; but nothing particularly notable. I've tried masturbating less recently to see if that might help, but it hasn't really, and I honestly don't feel horny enough to want to masturbate regularly.
- Performance anxiety; this I would say was definitely a problem a few weeks ago. 8 month dry spell left me pretty anxious about riding again. This bothered me for maybe a week or 2 but I think I'm mostly over it again now; but still having problems. There's a chance it's still lingering, but the fact the lack of arousal also seems to be all the time and not just when I'm with my partner I feel this can't be the only cause.
I'm wondering if anyone might have any suggestions as to what else might be the cause of my lack of arousal and difficulty in maintaining a solid erection? Or more so, things I can do to help; either specific to me, or even general recommendations for boosting the libido.
Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys.
submitted by anonimitch to erectiledysfunction [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 23:42 EricaShmericaOFF Life After Lockup: Ep 16 Recap

Lindsey & Scott: The fight from last week continued, and Lindey’s hair was still in the pink bandana/ superfluous claw clip combo. She read off a message that was forwarded to her by an ex boyfriend, who Scott had contacted via Facebook to get the inside scoop on Lindsey while she was in prison. He specifically wanted to know the reason for their breakup, asking if it was “lame sex, or psycho?” (She didn’t read the response from her ex, but I’d go with option B. At least psychos tend to keep things interesting, and having your first time together while simultaneously charging your ankle monitor is far from “lame”). Lindsey continued pressing the issue that Scott does not trust her, asking what his motive is. He maintains that he wants a life partner who looks great in a bandana/claw clip combo and pink short-shorts (check plus) but feels she wants someone to provide a place for her and Mylie Grace to live, and doesn’t care which “Tom or Harry-Dick” provides it (sometimes sequence is everything). He further accused Lindsey of only caring about Mylie Grace, her friends and her phone, with Scott only rolling in at 4th place (if she’s feeling bored) and in that specific order. After the big fight, Lindsey took to the front yard to call Tarabelle to vent. Tarabelle sided with Lindsey, as any good girlfriend and soon to be driveway neighbor would. Meanwhile, Scott was in the backyard talking to his friend Ed about the ordeal, who listened, though admitted that from an outside perspective, it looked pretty grim. (He should have hung up with Ed and called someone to come mow the grass… he’s about to lose his dogs out there!) Lindsey told Tarabelle she’s about to do a little detective work on Scott, since he spent so much time researching her references. Can’t wait to see what Sherlock Homie finds (while wearing her signature pink bandana).
Destinie & Shawn: Destinie was released from the hospital the following day, after having several tests to make sure she wasn’t having her eggoptopic pregnancy. Shawn was blowing up her phone, though continually being sent to voicemail, as Destinie continued her journey onward towards California. She arrived at her sister Britnie’s house (clearly their mother was a creative speller). She revealed to her sister the outcome of her hospital exam (though we had to wait through a dramatic commercial break pause), that she is not pregnant, but rather has a problem with her intestines and they gave her diarrhea medicine (that Destinie and her oversharing…).Her game plan now is to lay low at her sister’s house until her court date and continue ignoring Shawn. Back in Las Vegas, Shawn is floating around his pool, topless, next to a unicorn float, obsessively calling Destinie. He eventually moved on to calling her sister Britnie for more info, who of course pretended she had no idea where Destinee was.
Quaylon & Shovel: Shovel is at home with her mom and her mom’s gold lipstick, revealing that Quaylon has been trying to squirm back into her life after she found the eggplant emoji laden message in his phone and kicked him to the curb. Her mother invited cousin DMark over for a dose of reality, as he has been a harsh critic of the relationship from the get-go. DMark feels he has insight into the situation, since he himself was inquarcerated for 5 years, and had also had prison pen pal relationships based on convenience and support. Momadukes and DMark pressured Shovel into deleting Quaylon’s phone number from her phone, to help separate herself from the situation. Using her blingy yellow acrylic nails, she completed the deletion of his number, as her mother quoted HER mother’s sage proverb: “Mama always told me the best way to get over a man, is to get on top of a new one”. DMark needs his own spinoff....
Sarah & Michael: Sarah went to Michael’s hotel room, making assumptions that he had paid for the hotel via the generosity of single ladies everywhere. She discussed the upcoming family court date in regards to custody of their two pretty girls, as Michael claimed she was trying to take the kids away. Sarah made the point that Michael didn’t even have a stable place where he was living, and is not equipped to have 50/50 custody, as per his request (I don’t even think I’d let him have 50% custody over a pet rock, let alone a mini human). The minute Sarah left, Michael threw off his shirt and resumed text messaging yet another “female”, who hopefully was not “obulatin’ ”. While viewers everywhere scratched their heads trying to understand the powers Michael has on women, he took it upon himself to go into a thorough explanation. Put quite simply, Michael explained that he has a rare disease called “Devil dck”, which causes women to lose control of their bodies and levitate, before he sprinkles “holy water” on them. And I will never be the same. And I guess neither will they.. (Also, if Coltee from “90 Day” texted Michael, would he say “Good morning, my devil dck”??) After hearing about Michael’s magic powers, we saw him meet up with Haley, a super cute brunette, to try and make her levitate. They went to a barestaurant to discuss his custody agreement, aka foreplay, and how crazy Sarah was for not wanting the pretty girls to be in the care of daddy devil dick. Haley seemed to reassure him that he was a “great dad” (I guess she liked the bear costume…), and agreed to go back to his hotel room, as we saw him grab her butt and leave the restaurant (apparently she couldn’t hear everyone at home screaming “Don’t do it!!! Make sure you’re not obulatttttin’!!!!). Michael explained that using his devil tool was a great way of literally clearing his head, which doesn’t seem like it generally needs much clearing in the first place.
Andrea & Lamar: Lamar hit the road with the couples’ daughter, Priscilla to meet up in secret with his older daughter Shante. It was a sweet meeting between the two new sisters, and Shante seemed to be relating better to Priscilla than expected. Lamar plied Priscilla with some vanilla ice cream to detain her, while he got a little alone time to speak privately with Shante. He apologized for not being there for her, and tried to explain how difficult it is to work around Andrea’s wild jealousy. It seems like he is trying his best to make up for lost time. Meanwhile, Andrea is having a hard time with her son Tennnison, as he now refuses to leave for his 2 year long mission trip. Afraid that he may be going down a different, less religious path since moving to the mean streets of L.A., Andrea takes him to speak with Matt, a fellow Mormon who she knows and trusts, to hopefully relate to Tennison about going on this right of passage. Tennison expressed that he feels afraid to leave his sisters at home for two years, being that Andrea and Lamar are constantly fighting, and he fears for Priscilla’s upbringing. He got so upset, that he walked out of the meeting to get some air, with Andrea trailing close behind. It seems that Andrea was completely unaware of the impact that her relationship troubles have had on her son and on her kids in general.
Noticeably missing were Lacey and Papa Chain, who were probably off enjoying their increased blood flow from last week.
submitted by EricaShmericaOFF to loveafterlockup [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 23:29 hevnervals Created my own mess

I want to start with saying that I (M27) am not a chaste. I didn't ask for, or expect a virgin. I also want to add that English is not my 1st language.
So I've been together with my girlfriend (F25) for about a year. Everything is great except that I'm having big issues about her past. I never felt like this with my ex, so I think these feelings stem from the circumstances of how relationship was formed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Background:
I first met my girlfriend about 2,5 years ago at a lecture around my final exams of uni. We hooked up few days later and I was really taken by her, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. My parents had just divorced and I had to take care of my chronically sick mom while also looking for internships etc. After we finished our degrees and moved back to our respective hometowns, I felt I needed to emotionally distanced myself from her, mainly because of the physical distance (2 different towns), but I was also extremely stressed about all the other stuff going on in my life.
Despite that, she never stopped texting and seemed kind of infatuated with me, something that's still true to this day. We met once in a while, even went on a weekend trip broad. However, while fruitlessly waiting for me to commit she naturally gave up. I want to make it clear that I did not have sex with anyone but her during this time.
To cope with my rejection (that's what she says) she downloaded Tinder and had a few ONS, traveled alone to Italy etc - I was her 3rd back then, and now she's been with 8 or 9 (let's assume it's correct). I can live with the number itself, but what I find difficult is that she would always pursue me as well, meaning she was texting/sexting me while also dating others simultaneously. Eventually as we met more frequently, I gradually felt more attached and eventually asked if she wanted to be my gf. I really love this girl, but as more of her past exploits was revealed I started to feel like this relationship was spoilt before it even started. What makes this complicated is that I'm deeply in love with this girl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Issues:
I have had weeks or maybe a month with relative peace of mind. Then something will trigger a rebound. Usually when I'm already slightly unhappy about other stuff and when these feelings do come up, it feels like intense disgust, incredibly painful. I usually manage to shake it off, but sometimes only by abusing alcohol.
Naturally my girlfriend is wary, and I feel like this is incredibly unfair to her as I agreed to a relationship knowing at least the gist of it (just underestimated its impact on me). I want to add that I have always been polite to her and I am aware that there's nothing she can do to change the past.
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I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this, is there hope? Also, if anyone here has had similiar experiences please share.
TLDR: I'm having troubles dealing with my girlfriends sexual past because it occured while we had a uncommitted type of fling (which was my choice). My lizard brain is telling me that I'm essentially cuckolded even though I know, logically, that I am not.
submitted by hevnervals to retroactivejealousy [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 23:17 reinaofmountains I know this is a rape counselling subreddit, and I a survivor myself. But I would like to talk about guys manipulating you so they can sleep with you. Is this a part of rape culture?

Being raped actually made me reevaluate all my past relations with men. And although some of my boyfriends treated me very well, I have had some very toxic experienced with random guys or guys I went on a date with.
Like for example, now that I am older (I am the mid-20s) I can truly see how inappropriate some men behaved to me. Looking back I can really see some men trying to manipulate, gaslighting and pressure me to have sex with them. For example, when I was dating a guy who was 5 years older he always kept saying that I am immature for not having sex with him and If I was older I would have sex with him already. Now actually being his age I would behave exactly the same.
Rape has changed my life for worse in so many ways. I have developed multiple mental health problems after it, that thanks god do not affect me much now. But now I am not sure if its evaluating life after rape or just me being older and wiser and feel so much more confident in standing up for myself when I am mistreated. No matter if its a guy pressuring me to sex or a guy mistreating me in any other way.
submitted by reinaofmountains to rapecounseling [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 23:13 hevnervals Created my own mess - retroactive jealousy

I want to start with saying that I (M27) am not a chaste. I didn't ask for, or expect a virgin. I also want to add that English is not my 1st language.
So I've been together with my girlfriend (F25) for about a year. Everything is great except that I'm having big issues about her past. I never felt like this with my ex, so I think these feelings stem from the circumstances of how relationship was formed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Background:
I first met my girlfriend about 2,5 years ago at a lecture around my final exams of uni. We hooked up few days later and I was really taken by her, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. My parents had just divorced and I had to take care of my chronically sick mom while also looking for internships etc. After we finished our degrees and moved back to our respective hometowns, I felt I needed to emotionally distanced myself from her, mainly because of the physical distance (2 different towns), but I was also extremely stressed about all the other stuff going on in my life.
Despite that, she never stopped texting and seemed kind of infatuated with me, something that's still true to this day. We met once in a while, even went on a weekend trip broad. However, while fruitlessly waiting for me to commit she naturally gave up. I want to make it clear that I did not have sex with anyone but her during this time.
To cope with my rejection (that's what she says) she downloaded Tinder and had a few ONS, traveled alone to Italy etc - I was her 3rd back then, and now she's been with 8 or 9 (let's assume it's correct). I can live with the number itself, but what I find difficult is that she would always pursue me as well, meaning she was texting/sexting me while also dating others simultaneously. Eventually as we met more frequently, I gradually felt more attached and eventually asked if she wanted to be my gf. I really love this girl, but as more of her past exploits was revealed I started to feel like this relationship was spoilt before it even started. What makes this complicated is that I'm deeply in love with this girl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Issues:
I have had weeks or maybe a month with relative peace of mind. Then something will trigger a rebound. Usually when I'm already slightly unhappy about other stuff and when these feelings do come up, it feels like intense disgust, incredibly painful. I usually manage to shake it off, but sometimes only by abusing alcohol.
Naturally my girlfriend is wary, and I feel like this is incredibly unfair to her as I agreed to a relationship knowing at least the gist of it (just underestimated its impact on me). I want to add that I have always been polite to her and I am aware that there's nothing she can do to change the past.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this, is there hope? Also, if anyone here has had similiar experiences please share.
TLDR: I'm having troubles dealing with my girlfriends sexual past because it occured while we had a uncommitted type of fling (which was my choice). My lizard brain is telling me that I'm essentially cuckolded even though I know, logically, that I am not.
submitted by hevnervals to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 22:43 polyntrbl How to bring it up - Coming out

I have been out to my friends and some of my family since I was 15. However, I kept that circle small and never told my parents. When I was 18 I met my now ex husband. We were together for 9 years, monogamously. After our divorce I went back to dating and that includes same sex partners. I proceeded to tell more of my family but my parents are now the last to be told.
Some further backstory: (So you know what I'm dealing with) My grandfather on my mother's side was a Catholic priest. He was ordained after my grandmother died, before I was born. During my adolescence, he and my mother often discussed how wrong it was to be gay. He took this a step further by leading the gay conversation at his local parish. So it wasn't exactly a supportive situation. He has since passed away, but I still fear my mother maintains this opinion. Despite the pope's increasing support of LGBTQ+...she believes that he can be wrong sometimes...and hasn't really jumped on the welcome wagon. It should also be noted that my dad probably doesn't care much. I'm not too worried about this ruining my relationship with him.
So here we are now. I'm 30 and dating. I even found someone that I am ready to bring home, should I have the opportunity. I'd like to take the final step to tell my parents and lay the groundwork for me to do so.
The trouble is, every time I want to tell them, the timing is inappropriate. We've had a lot of extended relatives pass away this year, for example. I've tried to ease into the conversation but they always end up ranting about something unrelated. I'm seriously considering just getting sky writing or buying a costco sheet cake with "Surprise! It's a bisexual!" on it just to get it over with.
So any advice would be great. I would appreciate any feedback on how to break the news, so I can get on with my damn life.
TL;DR Seeking advice on how to tell a couple of boomers (my parents) I'm bisexual. They have been somewhat homophobic in the past, but are otherwise harmless.
submitted by polyntrbl to lgbt [link] [comments]